His first kill
by bethjones12333
Summary: Headquarters is taken hostage. Tony never talked about his first kill. We know he regretted it but what exactly happened. Completely made up. Tony is in huge danger he won't make it out of this hostage situation alive. Bit sad. No hate! Deathfic!


Everything was silent in the bullpen, silent except from the constant sound of Tonys' chair spinning on its hinges. He had been doing this for twenty minutes now and Ziva was beginning to get frustrated. McGee was typing away at the computer in a sort of trance, Gibbs was in Vance's office probably arguing his way through a perfectly friendly conversation and everybody else was at their usual stations.

It was coursework time and Tony had already completed his but refused to leave until Gibbs got back. Ziva was sure he just wanted to see the look on Gibb's face when he realized Tony had completed his paperwork, she was wrong. The real reason for Tonys' delayed departure from the building was that he cared deeply for Gibbs, he was like a father to him and if Gibbs stayed anywhere for longer that ten minutes something was wrong.

_Vance's Office_

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES A BLOODY MASS MURDERER AFTER MY SENIOR AGENT!?"

_Now, Gibbs please calm down the…_

"CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN. NO I WON'T BLOODY CALM DOWN!"

"_Agent Gibbs! I know you are angry and probably very confused right now but how can we protect Agent DiNozzo if you stop me five words into every sentence. Should I tell you who's after Tony or do you want to look up mass murderer on the internet, go by the profile of the first one who comes up and lock Tony in your cellar for protection!?"_

"…"

"_I thought not, the person after Tony is known as the Nightguard. Two years ago he committed several murders, each person with a bullet to the head. However each of them also had a stab wound in their stomach. The autopsies showed that they were only shot in the head minutes before dying from blood loss, this means…"_

"He wanted them to suffer."

"_Exactly Jethro, Now as you may have guessed the Nightguard was found and arrested by Tony after an undercover case. I'm afraid that during this time he collected a lot of data on agent DiNozzo, data that could help him find him in a couple of days. We burned the information he wrote down but that doesn't mean he hasn't remembered, or found out anything that he didn't have before. The suspects name is Adam Stab, he changed his name weeks before he was arrested and as disrespectful as it is it was signed legally and can only be changed with his permission." _

"He has no respect for those he killed, this isn't sounding good."

"_I'm afraid not, yesterday I received this letter" –_

He thought he was smart, he though he was clever,

But even he can't run forever,

I've got my knife,

I've got my gun,

It's time for Tony DiNozzo to run.

"This has no proof that he knows where Tony is…"

"_Maybe this will convince you; I received it this morning""–_

You locked me up for two whole years,

NCIS isn't far from here,

I've seen you once,

I've seen you twice,

That little Goth seems pretty nice.

"DID THAT SON OF A BITCH JUST THREATEN ABBIE? IF HE GOES ANYWHERE NEAR ABBIE OR ANY OF MY AGENTS HE'S AS GOOD AS DEAD!"

"_I've had a guard placed outside Abbies' lab. But Agent Gibbs I really don't believe he will do anything to harm Abbie."_

"It was just to prove he knew where Tony was, He wanted to unsettle us."

"_Yes, It could also be a distraction, he may be hoping we will protect the girl and keep our focus away from Tony. We need to get Tony somewhere safe, I've arranged a safe house but I cannot promise he will be safe there."_

"What I don't understand is why he's after Tony in the first place. He's not the one who arrested him, and there must have been at least twenty other police officers who were there that day. Why Tony?"

"_Ah… that's the thing; I believe Tony is in greater danger than any of Adams previous victims. Adams little brother was there at the shoot out in the warehouse, Tony took a shot at Adam but his little brother Troy jumped in the way. He saw it in movies, he thought it looked fun. Adam has always blamed Tony for Troy's death. It was a tragic accident."_

"Wait… Tony never wanted to talk about his old job. He would never talk about his first kill. Was it…?"

"_It was Troy. His first kill was an 8 year old boy."_

_Bullpen_

The bullpen was now unusually quiet, Tony had stopped spinning, McGee had stopped typing and Ziva had stopped fuming over Tony's continuous moaning. They were now hid under their desks armed with guns and trying to formulate a plan that could get everyone away from this hostage situation alive.

Tony knew he had to warm Gibbs what was going on, he knew that if Gibbs walked out of the directors' office now he would almost certainly be shot. _Cell phone!_

He grabbed his cell phone and dialed his emergency contact, which was of course Gibbs.

_Vance's Office_

Ring! Ring! ... Ring! Ring!

"_Shouldn't you get that Jethro? It could be important."_

Gibbs reached inside the pocket of his washed out brown jacket and pulled out his small undercover cell phone. _Tony 07572220190._

Shit! Gibbs thought. Tony doesn't call this cell phone for a casual conversation. Something's wrong.

"Tony?"

…

"Tony, you there?"

…

"TONY! There better be a bloody good explanation for this!"

"_What is it Jethro? Jethro..?"_

And then Gibbs heard it, a faint whisper. "_Held hostage. Bullpen. 20 men tops. Armed. No information received yet. Stay there."_

"Shit! Shit! Shit!"

"_What's going on Jethro? Was that Tony?"_

"Yeah Leon it was tony, the bullpens being held hostage…"

"_Well then you have to do something. Whoever it is obviously wants Agent DiNozzo, if you don't do something I will!"_

"I didn't know you cared. He's been in life threatening positions before and you did nothing, why now?"

"_The decisions he made in those life threatening situations showed how good he really is. He's a talented agent and you and your team obviously looks up to him and trusts him. You're a good team; DC can't afford to loose any of you."_

Gibbs was already at the door. He took a step forward and turned the handle.

_Bullpen_

Tony was formulating a plan when he heard a door open. _Oh god no! _

Ziva looked up when she heard quiet muttering and the opening of a door. Gibbs stepped up with his arms above his head, closely followed by Vance. Neither looked surprised. _How did they know they were being held hostage, you can't hear anything from inside Vance's office and the security cameras had been out for 2 days now. _

Ziva looked over to Tony about to throw him a questioning look, maybe he would know more about what's going on. That's when she saw his small black cell phone on the floor in front of him and everything clicked. _Tony must have called Gibbs, Maybe she had underestimated him._

And then Gibbs spoke.

"My names Leroy Jethro Gibbs, I'm a retired Naval Officer and leader of the A team at NCIS. I know why you're here and this whole thing is completely unnecessary. We could have just talked it through. Looked at the facts, please, let the innocents go. They have no idea what's going on. Neither does the person you're here to kill."

"_You're wrong Agent Gibbs, this is completely necessary. Tony DiNozzo murdered my little brother. He deserves to die."_

Tony's mind was in overdrive. _What? No! Why now? This is my entire fault._

McGee looked over at Ziva in a confused face. He had no idea what was going on but it was obviously not good. _Who is this man? And how does he know Tony? _But most of all; _Did tony really kill his brother?_

Then the doors of the elevator flung open to reveal Ducky, Palmer and Abby held at gunpoint by three of the men.

_That's it. None of my friends are getting hurt because of one of my stupid mistakes! I might not have meant to kill Troy but I can stop anyone else from getting hurt._

Gibbs looked over at the elevator, a tear was slipping down Abby's face, Palmer had his hand firmly wrapped around hers and looked thoroughly terrified and Ducky just looked calm and prepared for what could happen.

And then he looked to Tony who gave him a look, a look that filled Gibbs with dread a look that he knew all to well. _Sorry boss._

But before Gibbs could say anything Tony stepped out from under his desk, arms high in the air.

"I'm here, Tony DiNozzo. I'm here so shoot me or do whatever you have to do and then let everyone else go. I might deserve this but they don't."

_No. _Ziva thought. _Stop being a self sacrificing fool!_

But Tony thought of Abby as a sister. Now she was involved he was not going to be stopped.

"Oh Tony, Tony, Tony. You just don't get it do you, I want you to suffer the way I did. Killing you now would just being letting you off lightly. But I won't hurt your friends, like you said, they haven't done anything wrong. I'm gonna make sure you die slowly and painfully."

And then Adam walked slowly over to Tony and stabbed him in the stomach.

"NO… TONY!" Abby screamed as she struggled in her captors arms. Tears were falling freely from her face now and Palmers hand had gone white from the amount she was squeezing it"

Gibbs watched helplessly as Tony fell to the floor and was surrounded by a growing pool of blood, but he couldn't move… if he moved he would die and that would do nothing to help Tony.

Tony looked over to Ziva who was now accompanied by McGee who must have used Adams distraction to shuffle next to her. McGee was holding Ziva in his arms… she was crying.

"Shit… it must be bad. I made Miss tough as old nails cry. Errrrrgh!" And then the shock of being stabbed wore off and an explosion of pain came from his stomach. He looked down at the floor. The carpet was already crimson red and his hands were the same. Streams of blood were breaking through his fingers. _This is bad._

"Not so tough now are we Special Agent DiNozzo? How did you get that title anyway, they hardly hand it out at the door do they? And I'm certain you didn't earn it by shooting an eight year old boy!" Adam screamed sarcastically.

"It was an accident and you … erghh… know it! Why did you bring your little brother into the middle of your business anyway?! If anyone's to blame it's you. You might not have meant for him to get hurt and I understand the need for you to blame someone else, but it was you I shot at, it was you who was meant to die. Not him. He jumped in the… erghh… way!"

"The bullet came from your gun! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"Listen Adam," Gibbs spoke in a calm, understanding voice, "It was a tragic accident one that many people learned from, but look around. How is making all these people suffer going to bring to bring your brother back. Your brother was way too young to die, I've lost a young daughter myself, I know the feeling that everything is wrong. That nothing good will ever happen again. But when my daughter was murdered I became a cop, I worked on undercover missions and that's where I met Tony. He was a cocky arrogant bastard, but deep down he had the greatest heart I've ever know. I think of him as a son, and you know what it feels like to loose someone you care about. Think about me; think about Abby, Think about Tim and Ziva. He's like a brother and son to us."

"You might miss him and I'm sorry for that, I really am. But he needs to know what it feels like to be hurt, he needs to know the pain that I feel everyday since Troy was shot. He has to feel it!"

"I have felt it"

_What? _Ziva thought, _what's he talking about? _She looked at McGee who seemed to know what she was thinking because before she could say anything he whispered one word to her. _Kate. _

And as he told Ziva who Tony was talking about he realized something, he realized that when Kate had died he had thought that it was only him that was hurt, him that needed to cry into DiNozzos' shoulder. Tony was the strong one, nothing affected him. But when he heard him say those words he realized that Tony was the one that had been hurting the most.

"What…" Adam said confused.

"I have felt it… Last year… erghh … we were on the rooftop. Getting ready for a battle against a serial killer, Ari Haswari. Tim, McGee was checking the computer when he got shot at, we went over to the side to see if he was ok. Luckily he was, I don't know what I would have done if he'd been hurt. So we returned to our spot on the roof. And then a shot rang out and a bullet hit Kate in the chest. She fell and I and Gibbs rushed to her side. The bullet was lodged in her bullet proof vest. She woke and I asked if she was ok, she answered me with "Owe… I was just shot at point blank range DiNozzo" being the joker that I am I simply replied with "Not going to palates class tomorrow then?" Inside all I could think about was her falling to the floor after the sound of a gun shot. She was the closest to a sister I had ever felt. We helped her up and I complimented her in the only way I saw fit "You did good Kate" Gibbs sighed. "For once DiNozzos' right" Kate just laughed "Wow, I though I would die before I ever…" She never got to finish her sentence. Ari shot her in the head, her blood sprayed all over me. All I could think was that I had lost a sister. She was one of the only people that I really cared for. And she cared for me too. There was blood everywhere…"

And then Tony broke out into a coughing fit, and blood started to appear on his crisp white Gucci handkerchief.

_Shit that's not good! _Gibbs was panicking now. Tony didn't have long and he was definitely not in the right state of mind. He had just relived what Gibbs expected was the worse few minutes of his life…

Adam was confused. He had shot a man who doesn't care about his own safety at all, a man that only cares for the people that _he _had taken hostage. He looked over at Tony he looked pale and pasty there was blood everywhere. He felt sorry for Tony he really did, but he had still killed Troy. He was still a murderer.

And then he saw the Goth. She was crying endlessly on the floor, and a young boy with glasses was trying to comfort her. But so far it hadn't worked. And then there was the old man, his eyes were so full of knowledge; it was like he could understand everything. And he was looking over at a silver haired man. Agent Gibbs, wh was also crying. He obviously didn't cry often because his senior was looking at him in a deeply shocked look. He was a marine. Marines don't cry.

"Please, let him go. Everyone has done bad things, and only the best of people regret them. And I know Tony does. I didn't know your brother, I didn't know Kate. But look at you both, look at each others eyes. Both of them are full of love and every time I see that in Tonys' eyes I feel regret because Ari was my brother. My brother killed her. And I killed my brother to save Gibbs. We all do horrible things, unthinkable things. But what happened to your brother was an accident and not an action that originated of hate."

I watched as Adam put the gun to his own head and a shot rang out. His body slumped to the floor and his men ran out of the building and then Abby was running towards Tony, who, when everyone was watching the exchange between Ziva and Adam had fallen to the floor and was lying in a now extremely large pool of blood. His face was so pasty and his lips were blue. The only thing that made him look alive was the small flutter of his chest and his eyes slowly opening and closing in an effort to stay awake. But then I saw it. A stream of blood was making its way down his chin from the corner of his mouth. _No! _ Thought McGee. _It can't happen. I can't loose my brother! _

"Tony, I love you okay. You're my big brother. You bring me CafPows every morning and every night. Who will bring them if you die, who will hug me when I get upset. I can't loose anyone else. I just can't!"

"Tim will bring your CafPows… and P-palmer will look after you when you're upset. And Ducky can t-tell y-you stories bout me every night or whenever you need cheering up and you'll always have the photo of me and you in your lab and you can look at that whenever you miss me. Ok Abs, promise m-me you'll try to carry o-n."

"I promise Tony. I love you"

Ziva was there now and Tim too. And Gibbs was gently rubbing the hair away from Tonys'eyes.

"Hey, B-boss… look after Tim for me will you. He's not so bad. You'll make a good agent one day Tim. Mark my w-words, and Ziva, Kate's death was not your fault it was your brothers and you stopped him before anyone else got hurt. You can forget about that now. You have family here and you may not understand why. But we, they, love you."

Tony only had to look at Ducky and Palmer for them to understand what he had to say. _Look after them for me. And take care. Bye._ Ducky nodded solemnly and Palmer gave Tony a small smile. And then Tonys' grip on Abbies hand loosened and he was gone.


End file.
